Only a mothe r could love this liver
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
