Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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