I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
