I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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