just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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