I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
