the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just want nice things and good sex
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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