yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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