So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
