Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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