is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
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