and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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