You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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