You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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