he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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