So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
