Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
