that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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