is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
