I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
