she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
