Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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