Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.

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(440): View more from Ohio

Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag

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(231): View more from Michigan

Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend

(231): View more from Michigan

I love it when he cheats on me with nice people

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(620): View more from Kansas

When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.

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(647): View more from Ontario

We're like a dynamic duo.

(1-647): View more from Ontario

Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work

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(206): View more from Washington

Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.

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