She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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