I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
