So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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