I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
