Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
