sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
