Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
the raccoons are back...
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