you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
