If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
