Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
