i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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