when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
