your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
