I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Hippo gnu deer
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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