Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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