38 yer olds are good kisserssss
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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