didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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