Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
