I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
