Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
