I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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