I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
