Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
