You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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