the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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