Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
4 words: hood of his car
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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