Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
